We got so high we made milksteak
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
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she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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