Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it