oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
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You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.