just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.