how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
