Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
