why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
