im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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