Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
bring money and cleavage
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My day in three words: secret purse cake
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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