its not stalking. its research.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
