Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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