i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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