1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
