can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
