i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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