I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
