Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
