Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
