apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
