i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
