Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I believe in your delicious
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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