is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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