What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
