Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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