Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize