1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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