I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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