Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
