Already got asked if we're dating
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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