so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
