Do you still have your period?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Bring me that man meat
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
