great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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