so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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