I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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