Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She told me I should be a condom model.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
