pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I smell stomach acid.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
