Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
