i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize