is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Mom said you looked used
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
