Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
