i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The air was thick with penises
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
