You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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