If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
