Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
