I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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