Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
