You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
