so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Pooping to opera.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
