It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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