capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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