Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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