YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
