I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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