So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize