He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
