i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
