i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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