Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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