so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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