Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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