Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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