what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You left your underwear on the fireplace
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
