There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
