Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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