half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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