New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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