she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
