I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
