Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
