Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
