Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
