I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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