everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
