You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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